What Betrayal Means on the Energetic Level.

The topic of betrayal is taboo in our society.

We all know that being a betrayer is considered wrong, and we block even the thought of it from our inner dialogue with ourselves.

No one ever voluntarily agrees to be seen as a betrayer in someone else’s eyes—everyone always finds justifications for their actions and choices.

This is perfectly understandable from the standpoint of the human Ego.

Most often, betrayal is understood as disloyalty to someone or the failure to fulfill a duty toward another person. It can also be the betrayal of the interests of a group or an individual. For example: a man leaves for a mistress—he is called a betrayer; someone switches to another political party—again, a betrayer.

Although, strictly speaking, a more accurate term in such cases would be not “betrayer” but “unfaithful” or “one who defected.”

Under the concept of “betrayal,” almost any situation can be placed—relationships, work, interest-based groups, from a sewing club to political parties, religions, and social movements. Yet no one truly knows with what thoughts and intentions a person entered a given relationship. Still, when that person attempts to leave, they are often labeled a betrayer.

In reality, the person simply reached their goals within that relationship or group.

And those who call them a betrayer usually do so because the person dared to place THEIR OWN interests above THEIRS.

For some reason, they believed that THEIR interests should be more important, more significant, more valuable to that person than the person’s own.

On one side of the scales are always one’s personal desires and interests; on the other—those of someone else.

People often do not notice their own tendency toward self-betrayal. They do things that are unnecessary or even harmful to them just to avoid being labeled “a betrayer” or “an egoist who thinks only of themselves.” In doing so, they suppress and humiliate their own Ego.

In truth, the only thing a person can truly betray is themselves: their interests, their desires, their intentions, their Ego.

It is the betrayal of one’s own Ego that creates inner conflict—and this is often so painful that the person blocks even the possibility of discussing it with themselves.

It is always easier and safer to assign the role of betrayer to someone else, to place all the blame on another, than to admit to oneself the betrayal of one’s own self.

The betrayal of the Ego is dulled by any available means.

Often this requires other people and activities that give others a reason to admire the person—even if that admiration is superficial.

Admiration can be received in interest groups, work teams, fan clubs, and any communities where there are more than two participants.

Usually, the leader of a group is the person who has betrayed their Ego the least.

At the bottom of the group are those who are uninteresting even to themselves—people who have suppressed their Ego so deeply that they serve only as a source of attention-energy for the leader and those close to them.

In romantic relationships, the same pattern appears. The leading partner is the one who has betrayed their Ego less—the one who is more oriented toward their own desires and interests. The following partner, whose Ego is repressed, becomes merely a functional figure—useful only for fulfilling certain roles: a “good husband,” a “good wife.” And even then, only as long as they perform this function well. They receive nothing in return for their efforts—and are punished the moment they begin to try less.

It is obvious that in such cases the partner is kept not as a person, but as a performer of duties. And since they themselves allow such treatment, the attitude toward them becomes exactly that.

Similar situations occur in friendships as well—when someone “befriends” a person with a more suppressed Ego and uses them as free labor, an emotional punching bag, or a shoulder to cry on—a person who plays the role of the victim.

And the worst thing one can do in such situations is to direct all their energy toward becoming “the best” in the group or in the relationship: the smartest, the most worthy, the most beautiful—believing that this will automatically bring admiration. Trying harder, working more diligently, cooking better meals, more fitness, more effort—all of this does not automatically attract others if the Ego remains suppressed.

Take a simple example. Everyone went to school with straight-A students. Usually they were remembered only before exams. The rest of the time, little attention was paid to them. Meanwhile, the notorious troublemakers often enjoyed respect and the desire of others to join their group. And yet the top students were “the best of the best,” the pride of the class. This did not make their personalities more attractive.

From childhood we were taught that all doors are open to “the best of the best.” That they are welcomed everywhere. And people try desperately, pushing themselves to the limit—but this entire baggage does not bring happiness. No one is impressed by sheer “functionality.”

Because at the moment of first connection, attraction happens on the level of the Ego. And when that happens, even the lack of “necessary functions” is often overlooked. “She can’t cook, but she’s interesting and intelligent.”

The same applies to employment: a candidate who appeals on the Ego-level often has higher chances of being hired, even without experience or knowledge. “Oh, it’s fine, they’ll figure it out.”

So why can’t we simply activate our Ego forever, live calmly, and not torment ourselves?

Because at some point we already betrayed our Ego. And if we did this more than once, a subconscious fear appears—that others will find out and expose this betrayal. And so we begin to behave accordingly. We surround ourselves with people whose Ego is even more suppressed than our own. Not consciously—but circumstances arrange it this way.

We may complain about their narrow-mindedness and want more—but our awareness of our own self-betrayal and the fear of being exposed prevent us from approaching people who are more mature, stronger, and self-actualized.

So why do others “betray” us?

They merely reflect the fact that we have betrayed our own Ego.

Often many times.

When, in a relationship, a person consistently places their interests below those of their partner, their desires below those of their partner, their thoughts and feelings below those of their partner—sooner or later they will receive what they call “betrayal.”

And it is not because the partner is “bad.”

The partner merely mirrors our relationship with ourselves. And our Ego—no matter how deeply suppressed—always strives to eliminate what wounds it.

Yes, this may sound mystical. But situations often “suddenly” develop in such a way that someone “betrays” us. The Ego never acts abruptly—there are always many warning signs that we choose to ignore.

Eventually, the Ego has no other way to bring the person to awareness than to “arrange” the betrayal of another—so that the person finally understands that their life has gone in the wrong direction and that it is long overdue for change.

In essence, if you were betrayed—it means you were helped to grow. To grow in Ego. To grow as a person.

If you were betrayed—it means you were transferred to a higher level and given a chance to move forward.

Often betrayal is experienced so painfully that a person tells everyone about it—trying to find among listeners someone with an even more suppressed Ego.

The pain arises because the support, which the “betrayer” once provided, suddenly disappears. And one’s own inner support in the form of the Ego is so intimidated that it feels frightening to lean on it. Yet that is precisely the only correct path—to always rely on one’s own Ego.

To strengthen it.To build it.To place one’s own desires, thoughts, feelings, needs, and joys first—and only then the desires of a partner or a group.

Do not be afraid that people will scatter when you “turn on” your egocentrism. On the contrary—they will be drawn to you like a magnet. They will want to understand how to live the same way.

And do not confuse egocentrism with egoism. Orientation toward one’s own interests, needs, and desires is egocentrism. Forcing those interests and desires onto others—that is egoism.

When a person becomes oriented toward themselves, they quickly come to understand that every human being has the right to their OWN interests, often different from their own. And that is what makes life interesting. The Ego can then negotiate with another Ego from a position of equality. And then “betrayal” will not occur.

Even if a relationship ends, a person will leave it not as a victim with a crushed Ego, and the partner will not be a betrayer—but simply a person whose interests no longer align with the interests of another. And all of this will happen without drama or emotional shock.

There will be a smooth transition between past and future.

Because the Ego is our protector, our ally, our Self.

The Ego is who we are.

And if we do not betray ourselves—others will not betray us either.