The Two Roads of Male Sexuality: Between Creation and Escape.

Laura Ma.
Dec 4, 2025
3 min read

Updated: Dec 6, 2025

When we speak about male sexuality, we must first admit an uncomfortable but honest truth: it has two very different natures.

The first is constitutional.

Here, nature itself programs the man — with an increased production of testosterone, with drive, with impulse, with a bodily need for action. In this version, he often doesn’t act because he wants to, but because he must.

Biology pushes him forward like a motor that never fully turns off.

The second is psychogenic.

Here, everything works differently.

This is not simply “fear of relationships.”

This is a complex psychological road of male realization, built around dopamine — the hormone of pursuit, novelty, conquest, achievement.

A man is, by his inner structure, a creator.

Deep inside, every man, consciously or not, feels like a god.

And in its healthiest form, this impulse leads to creation:

creating a family,
creating safety for a woman and children,
building a business,
opening workplaces,
reaching goals,
shaping the world with responsibility.

This is the difficult road of male realization: to build, to protect, to provide, to grow, to fail and try again.

But there is also an easier road.

The road of illusion.

Here, creation is replaced with conquest.

Here, success is replaced with numbers.

Here, growth is replaced with trophies.

Breakfast — one woman.

Lunch — another.

Dinner — a third.

The phantom crown of being “the king of the world” is maintained not by substance, but by endless novelty: “Look how many I conquered.”

From my own studies, I know how certain pickup coaches teach people to “win” partners with minimal effort, minimal investment, and zero responsibility.

A perfect system — and at the same time, as the English say, “a scam for the poor.”

It feels powerful.It costs almost nothing.And it builds absolutely nothing.

The Avoidant Type : Not Cold — but Wounded.

Now we arrive at an important psychological point:the avoidant attachment type.

These are not simply “people who do not want relationships.”

Avoidance is a coping mechanism, a strategy for dealing with separation anxiety and relational stress.

Its roots almost always lead back to childhood experiences — abandonment, emotional unpredictability, lack of safe bonding.

For such individuals, closeness itself becomes a trigger.

When intimacy appears — not sex, but real emotional closeness — fear awakens:

fear of loss,
fear of pain,
fear of being hurt again.

So the nervous system chooses escape: “One connection — and I move on.

For my own safety.”

From here grow the familiar social media slogans:

“Love is pain.”
“Closeness smells like betrayal.”
“Nobody truly needs me.”

And instead of investing in a family — which requires patience, emotional work and responsibility — such a person invests in:

self,
business,
pleasure,
control,
emotional distance.

The Dangerous Illusion Many Women Fall Into.

The more emotionally available and self-sacrificing partners such men meet —women who give, adapt, hope and wait —the less motivation they have to build serious relationships.

And here arises a very painful illusion:

“If I give him everything — he will choose me.”

“If I am better than the others — he will change for me.”

“If I endure enough — he will finally love me.”

Psychology is very clear here: relationships are not built on sacrifice — they are built on mutual responsibility.

We always receive what we allow.

As Saint-Exupéry wrote in The Little Prince: We are responsible for those we have tamed.

To tame is to commit. And commitment is not built on fear of losing someone — it is built on the ability to stand in one’s own value.

There are no “best women” who magically transform avoidant men.

There is only inner readiness for intimacy — or the lack of it.

Do Not Try to Change Men — Change Your Boundary.

Men walk their own path of transformation.

No one can walk it for them.

But when a woman changes herself — her boundaries, her self-worth, her nervous system patterns —the environment must adapt.

Including men.

Healthy relationships arise not where one saves and the other escapes —but where two autonomous adults meet in freedom.

Today, there is a wealth of relationship education available.Invest in your emotional literacy.

Seek professional guidance.

Learn how healthy attachment truly works.

And yes — to my work I also gently invite you:toward healing the wounded heart,toward rebuilding self-worth,toward forming the inner model of a calm, elegant, emotionally secure, oxytocin-based femininity —and toward stepping into a new life prepared not for fantasy, but for real closeness.